5 reasons why being more self-aware is important especially when feeling low

There is an infinite number of reasons why we feel low from time to time. The reasons are all varied. Some carry more weight than others. Some act alone, others form a combination.

From my own personal experience, I feel low when I think about how I don’t do enough to support my loved ones. I feel low when I receive disappointing feedback at work which knocks my confidence. I feel low when I feel mentally unstimulated and unchallenged. I feel low when I think of statements made by people undermining what I am doing in life. I feel low when I think back to certain incidences experienced in relationships. I feel low when I sometimes compare myself to others.

Sometimes, I feel low for reasons unknown. At that time, completely unexplainable. Especially with loneliness experienced during the recent lockdown, moments of feeling low have become recurrent.

It’s understandably hard to talk to people in these situations. We live in an increasingly fast-paced and driven world where we are generally expected to just take things on the chin, put on a nonchalant face and get on with life. Even where there are support systems available around us i.e. family members, partners, friends, employers, charities, we tend not to use them. We want to be seen from the outside as strong, reliable and independent. We don’t want others to see our cracks. We don’t want to burden others with our thoughts. We don’t want to slow timelines down. The COVID pandemic has created a further barrier — we think everyone is in a similar boat or we think that we are in a fortunate situation compared to some others so we should just swallow our thoughts and move on.

In these situations however, it is important that we don’t just move on. We should embrace our thoughts and this can be done by being more self-aware. Put simply, being self-aware means that you are noticing yourself — you are noticing your emotions, your thoughts, your behaviours, your habits, your reactions, etc. No one else has this awareness, but you and so you are honest about what you notice.

Here are five reasons why self-awareness is important, especially at times when we feel low. I’ve related each of these reasons to my own personal experience.

1. Self-awareness allows us to further understand the reasons behind why we are feeling low which in turn allows us to mitigate the feeling.

We can dig deeper and ask ourselves, behind our various reasons, why we are feeling low? For example, if I feel low because I feel mentally unstimulated and unchallenged, I ask myself why I feel mentally unstimulated and unchallenged? What am I doing day-to-day that is making me feel this way? Is it because I am not learning at a rate that I would like to? Or is it because I have reduced the scope of what I am learning? By digging deeper into the “whys,” we can think about focussed ways to mitigate the feeling — in my case, I have taken on new and more challenging projects at work, enrolled in new courses outside of my areas of specialism and simply, read more to expand my knowledge.

2. Self-awareness is necessary to monitor and control our emotions

There have been occasions where I felt I have just lost it. For example, I’ve burst out in tears during one of my closest friend’s celebrations thinking about certain incidences experienced in relationships. I just couldn’t help it. I know that this behaviour is not unusual amongst us. Emotions are volatile and strong ones can completely take over us unexpectedly.

Self-awareness is key to keeping these in check and controlling these going forwards. I am aware that I will be incredibly emotional thinking about certain incidences so I habitually distract myself from thinking of them which puts me at peace.

Even though it’s a good thing to monitor and control our emotions through self-awareness, releasing our emotions is essential too, whether it be talking to others, journalling, creating art/ music, letting ourselves cry etc. The release of emotions can be a beautiful thing.

3. Self-awareness encourages positive-thinking

By being clearer about ourselves, we can allow ourselves to think more positively. I mentioned above that I feel low when I think of statements made by people undermining what I am doing in life. When digging deeper into this, I question why and how could I let my own mental state be affected by other people’s opinions, especially from who have not trodden the same paths in life. I mentally fight back each and every one of those statements, thinking positively about the things around me.

When I feel low after receiving disappointing feedback at work, I question why I am seeing such feedback in a negative light? It may be disappointing but how I improve using the feedback is most important, which actually is positive.

Positive-thinking in general boosts our self-confidence making us feel happier and more self-empowered.

4. Self-awareness allows us to discover ourselves

Self-awareness brings us on journeys of self-discovery, where we explore what motivates us, our purposes, our potential, what values are important to us, hopes and dreams for the future. We may never fully discover ourselves because life can never be so clearly defined as a train track with precise destinations, however, the journeys are what matters. The journeys make life worth living. By embarking on such journeys, I find myself no longer comparing myself to others. For example, I have learned to acknowledge that others’ ideas of success are different from mine and therefore should not be fixed as reference points.

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
― T. S. Eliot

5. Self-awareness improves our communications with others

Self-awareness encourages us to be thoughtful about our communication with others. For example, if we are furious about a certain incident, rather than just focus on how we feel furious and what empirically made us feel this way, we add explanations of why we feel this way. This extra detail facilitates stronger communication and gives others a greater opportunity to empathise.

To me, keeping a detailed journal is the best way to be more self-aware (I use a password-protected Microsoft Word document where I basically write to myself). We need a non-abstract place where we can just freely offload our thoughts, secrets and desires. A place where we can write about whatever we want without any unwanted gazes from society.

Knowing ourselves through our emotions, our thoughts, our behaviours, our habits, our reactions, etc. helps us to create lives that we truly strive for. For me, a happier life. By being self-aware especially in times when we are feeling low, we can more effectively address the reasons, monitor and control our emotions, adopt positive thinking, embark on journeys to discover ourselves and better communicate our situations with those around us. There is a significant difference when we direct our minds rather than letting our minds direct us.